Hi-Tech Baby

I have also started information-gathering for a website. Leah and I have our own website, but the space is provided through our ISP, Time Warner, which results in some goofy web address that nobody can remember: home.midsouth.rr.com/ericnleah. Not really something that just rolls off your mind into your fingers when you're sitting down at the ole computer, is it? I guess if I really wanted to, I could go after something more catchy, like ericandleah.com. Nope--it's owned by some left-coast dude in California (wouldn't you know it?). But it's just never been high on the priority list (for the record, eric.com and ericrussell.com are also taken).

So before all is said and done, I'll roll out something like russellbrat.com. Or thelittleRussellterror.com. Just kidding. Ideas have been stuff like russellbaby.com or something along those lines. Let the empire-building and self-marketing begin! There will be t-shirts, and mugs, and banners!! After all, my cousin Jennifer's twins, Ethan and Emily, have their own website--who am I to deny their 3rd cousins their very own spot in cyberspace?!

Good News is No News

Although Leah's doctor appointment was Monday, the results weren't discovered and disclosed until yesterday. After some "phone tag"--the nurse happened to call when Leah was on the phone with a customer--she finally got the results: Negative. That is, the test for the problem that would a) have to be treated before beginning any fertility medicine, and b) probably have created problems during pregnancy, turned up NEGATIVE. Which is a good thing. Leah was especially relieved, and it showed.

Now, on to the medicine. You will recall from an earlier post that Dr. Bannister estimated that without help, our chances of conceiving on our own were around 1%. So, a very common drug that is almost ALWAYS the first line of treatment of this and similar problems is something called Clomiphene Citrate, aka the brand names Clomid and Serophene.

Of course, everyone always hears "fertility drugs" and automatically thinks "quintuplets." Not really true here. Yes, the possibility goes up, but we're talking single digits here: Normally, the chances are 3-5%, now they're 5-8% or something along those lines. I did some quick online searching, and found out exactly what going to be going on inside my wife's reproductive system. I did stumble upon one encouraging statistic: Over 50% of women who start taking this drug get pregnant by the end of the 3rd month. So, we've gone from 1% to more than 50%, and I like those odds better. The rest is in God's hands.

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you

Jeremiah 1:5 a

ECR

Chatting with the Doc

Dr. Bannister, Leah's OB/GYN, returned my call last night. A day and a half after I left a message, but hey, why be picky? I'm the analytical, let's-dissect-this-from-every-angle one in our marriage, so sombody has to do it, right?

I'm not as worried as I was before she called. Which is good. It's still a long road ahead, but the results of Monday's blood tests will determine just how "bumpy" the road will be. Leah and I both realize that there are numerous opportunities for both of us to better care for our body; it just so happens that her doing so will probably make conceiving and a subsequent pregnancy a bit more smooth. Or a LOT more smooth. But we've started down the path. Suddenly there's an unspoken sentiment that we aren't just doing it for ourselves.

The "not knowing" part is hardest. For example, we both decided to use this year's vacation time sparingly because of the potential of a maternity leave late in the year. But if we aren't pregnant by the end of March, we're talking 2006 before a kid comes (which means the 2007 tax return, which is REALLY depressing). But Monday should provide some answers and give us a clearer outlook. Time will tell....

ECR

Bummer, Dude

Yesterday was a trip to the 'ole OB/GYN office for Leah. Based on some strange happenings, plus a desire to have tests done to make sure that everything was functioning properly, she set the appointment and hoped for good news. Well......

It seems that Leah has a condition that isn't all that uncommon, but a frustrating one nonetheless for a couple trying to conceive. Without going into a long transcription of her medical chart, it's a hormone imbalance that causes problems with ovulation. Bottom line--we'd have a 1% chance of conceiving on our own, without medicinal intervention. Aside from the Tennessee Lottery, I generally ain't a bettin' man, but I don't like them odds.

She will go in on Monday (1/24) to do bloodwork for an exact analysis, and Dr. Bannister will go from there. She also raised some caution flags about some other potential issues, but won't know for sure until the test. Nothing major, but it involves stuff that would have to be addressed before being able to fix the hormone problem.

Honestly, I think I took the news a bit harder than Leah. I found myself in kind of a "down" mood all day. Maybe it was because it was Monday. Or that I had to work at Kroger and couldn't be with her last night. Or that I missed eating lunch with her and she wasn't at home when I got there (she was off for MLK day, was out shopping with Kristi, and they ended up having to take Aunt Linda to the hospital). I started doing the math--if I have a child at 32, then I'll be 50 when they graduate. I don't know.......A healthy child is all I want. It's just that I guess I've sort of quietly hoped that in the next month or two or three, we'd be expectant parents. And now that seems to be in jeopardy. Seeing babies and children's clothes and the like is pretty much tough on Leah. We kinda laugh about it when she says, "I want one!", but I worry that sooner or later it will become more and more upsetting.

As I've said before, maybe it's part of a greater plan. Maybe it's God's way of telling us to be patient and rely on His wisdom. Maybe we need to accomplish our goals with our bills. Or get in another house. Maybe one day we'll look back and think how the timing was perfect. Maybe. Faith isn't faith until it's all you're hanging on to, I guess. And sometimes I think we're getting awfully close.

ECR

Hurry Up and Wait

Not really much going on......This last weekend, we went to Nashville and had a blast. We have joked that if/when her pregnancy happens, and the possibility exists that the little one was conceived in Nashville, we will come up with lots of Nashville-related names and tell everyone that we were thinking along those lines. Stuff like "Ryman Adelphia" or "Gaylord Clayton". Oh, the possibilities. And just a warped sense of humor.

Some stuff happened this week that has Leah puzzled. I'm not going into medical descriptions or anything, but it certainly isn't something that she deems normal. So she's going to the doctor on Monday. They'll also be able to test and see if she is indeed ovulating. I think she was kinda wanting to go on fertility meds, but I told her that we have NOT been that precise with our planning, and I didn't want it to be a thing of "Give me a magic pill and make me pregnant, cause I want a baby REALLY badly." If there's medical reasons for them, fine. But not until we're convinced that our bodies somehow aren't cooperating. I think she was a bit disappointed, but she understood.

Emotional Challenge #1

A couple of weeks ago, Leah and I found out that my cousin Kristi is pregnant. The minute that Leah told me (I was at work at the time), I could tell that there was a "I'm putting on a happy face, but inside I'm dying" tone in her voice.

Kristi and Leah were best buds in high school. They sang in the choir together. Heck, the first time I really "noticed" Leah was at Kristi's birthday party. Truth be told, they probably laid awake together at slumber parties and planned their weddings together, even though they were only teenagers. There was a time when there friendship was a bit.....how shall we say....."strained", perhaps, but that's all water under the bridge and these days they are the best of friends. And frequent Spades partners. So Leah couldn't be any happier for Kristi and Joe than she is. But the fact remained that perhaps the unwritten rule had been broken--Leah got married first, so she was supposed to get pregnant first.

It was a tough few days for Leah. We know that it's all in God's hands. I tried to tell Leah that Kristi has been through a lot. For example, her daddy died 3 months before her high school graduation. Uncle Mike didn't get to see her graduate from college, and wasn't here to give her away at her wedding. And so on. I hope and pray that Kristi has the smoothest and complication-free pregnancy possible.

Leah and I haven't been that precise with the pregnancy planning. There were occasional charts, thermometer readings, and ovulation tests.....but in the end, I really don't feel like we could honestly say something like, "We've been trying for 6 months." Sure, there are the obvious methods of not preventing pregnancy, but anybody who has tried (successfully or otherwise) to conceive knows that it's about more than throwing away the contraceptives. God designed our bodies, and childbirth, from start to finish, is a miracle. For now, we must have faith that He alone, in His infinite wisdom, will bless us when he sees fit.

ECR

Welcome to Our Blog!

Well, for some reason or another, I came up with the idea to start a blog that has to do with our pregnancy. The goofy thing about this is that right now, there isn't a pregnancy. But when the time comes that this blog is "out there" and read every day by family members, interested parties, and maybe random visitors, the world will know what my thoughts were on January 3, 2005.

I'm sure we'll spare some of the details, but without fail, everyone will want to know how the pregnancy is going, what the doctors are saying, when her next appointment is, how Leah is doing, etc. So here ya go. If you're up at 2 AM because you just can't sleep, and happen to wonder about us--here ya go.